Pay it Forward

Monday afternoon, Joes first day off in 7 days, we decided to go check our PMB (postal mailbox) at the UPS Store. A few days prior, I had received a myspace message from an old friend since High School. He said that he had just returned from a business trip to Germany had had some postcards and needed my address to send me one, so without a second thought, I provided the address and quickly forgot all about it. So when we checked the mail, I was surprised when Joe handed me a simple letter-sized envelope from this friend instead of a postcard, but thought, maybe there will be postcards inside. So I quickly open the envelope and am looking for postcards, but only find a type written letter and a check. I turn over the check, and it is a $4,000 check issued to me. I quickly tell Joe what I have found, and he wants to look at it (assuming I misread it), but it was in fact real, so I quickly began reading the letter.

It turns out that this friend’s employer had made a bank error in his favor, and when he brought it to their attention, they told him just to keep it. He did not feel that he had earned this money, so he decided that he would much rather give it to someone who really needs it.

He says he thought back to about 3 years ago when we had been talking, and had come to the conclusion that I could really use some money to improve my quality of life. At the time he was penniless and unemployed, but he said to me, “If I had the money, I would give it to you.” (and that had stuck with him), and he instantly thought of me. Though he knows that I am in a different place in life, he and he knows that money is always still something that a person can use to better their life, or pay some bills, and sent me this money from heaven.

I sobbed as I read this letter. My heart was filled with relief. Each day I have just been praying that soon something good would happen, to help us be able to breathe a little easier, to make the rent, to be able to buy food, and keep gas in our car. I told Joe amidst the tears, “this can solve so many of our problems”.

In the letter, my friend told me that he did not expect or desire any gratitude for this gift, but only that he would like me to some day “Pay it Forward”, and help someone else in need. He also recommended had I not seen the movie Pay it Forward, that I might want to, as he believes it carries a powerful message.

So I was just shocked and awestruck for the remainder of the day, not even being able to fathom such selfless kindness. I had forgotten that it existed. Over time, a lot of my faith has floundered, and it was such a good remembrance that there is still a need to love and care for your fellow men.

Worst day ever

Okay, so it started with scarlett screaming and crying all through the night for no apparent reason, then I finally bring her into the livingroom at 7am to get some sunlight, Joe is trying to entertain and keep her happy, throwing a foamy pillow around in the air when he hits my scentsy warmer... and the top part with all the warm RED wax dumped all over the carpet. in our RENTAL apartment, and now the carpet is pretty much stained, and it splattered all over my picture expanding tower thing, and that to me was so horrible.

SO then Joe leaves us and goes to work.

So I have to take scarlett to the urgent care to figure out why she is breathing so fast and why she screams all night long... I waited for TWO HOURS to be seen, and Scarlett was at her wits end. Turns out her ears are fine now, (just ended a 10 day antibiotic 2 days ago for that), but her tonsils look inflamed so they gave us a steroid for her. SO I go to Walgreens at DOBSON and CHANDLER, yes yes the SELF SAME intersection where my car accident was, you would think I would learn my lesson and stay away from there, but no...

Okay that Walgreens doesn't have a drive thru so I haul Scarlett,and our lunch and my bag inside. We waited for the scrip, and picked up some icecream for later while we were at the store. So we go outside to get in our car, and we have lots of stuff, so I grab our bags to put them in the car, take 5 steps away from the cart, am going to open my car door, and Scarlett and the Cart, go rolling down OFF THE SIDEWALK, OFF THE CURB and tip over to the side. As she is rolling, I am SCREAMING and RUNNING toward the cart, and some Mexican guy trys to help me get her out of the cart, to see if we were okay.. thank goodness I had done the seatbelt on the cart, keeping her from slamming her whole noggin on the concrete, but Poor Scarlett's chin got skinned up and a little cut by the side of her mouth and a scratch by her nose and a little bit of dirt on her face, and a skinned up hand...

I AM HEARTBROKEN, and I feel like CRAP. I feel like an unfit person. I feel like everything is wrong and only bad things happen to us. I called Joe sobbing, and he mis heard me thinking I rolled the CAR instead of a CART, so he was freaking out, but once I explained what had happened, and that Scarlett seems to be fine, he told me that I need to stop being so hard on myself--that accidents happen.. well, I'm not hearing it. I just need a freaking break... PLEASE!

HELP!

I cant find my phone and I am going NUTS! so if you have my number, would you please call me so I can find it?! thanks!

Gray Hare

YES, I have gray hair on my head.

So I am happy to say that I am actually finally after 10 years of coloring my hair, happy with the color... CHEMICAL FREE!

It was the day I spotted my first gray hairs, that I realized, nature is beginning to take its course, and I am okay with that. So its been 3 haircuts since I colored my hair last, and being that I'm keeping it short these days, it means its au naturale. I think maybe it also has to do with the fact that Scarlett's hair is the exact same color as mine and I love her hair. I also think my hair has darkened over time, into a better color altogether and that is why I like it now...

I'm sure this is probably a dull post for some of you, but below is my most recent pic, taken last friday by myself in the bathroom. So, I've lost another 3 lbs. I'm down to 241 .5 now.. which I know is a lot, but I'm just glad that there is some benefit to the fact that I have been home cooking meals for nearly 4 weeks now.

So Scarlett has got two new teeth this week, Which makes four top front two front bottom, and 4 molars on top and bottom in the back. Her bottom gummies look like they are ready to sprout out those remaining teeth too... poor little angel. I took some pics of her today, so I will try to post them tomorrow. love you all.

The Flu Bug

Between never knowing if I can find any internet connection, and Scooby having the flu for the past WEEK, I have not been able to update much. Supposedly our car will be done Wednesday or Thursday. Scarlett turns out she had an ear infection. She is now feeling better, pooping normally again and hasnt thrown up in 2 days now. I really think that throwing up is one of the scariest things a baby can do (of course with the exception of things like seizures and things of that nature). Karsyn had a birthday party on Saturday and that was a lot of fun. Adam and Nikki did a great job decorating and making goodie bags. It was nice of people to pick us up from our house so we could come.

I am not really sure why I am awake right now... I hate it when the baby sounds like she's waking up, so I go make her a bottle, and tiptoe into her room and she is still sound asleep. That is usually when I go to my computer and wait to hear her call out. Now I have a runny nose, I think it is just because I just sneezed, lets hope, because I really don't want a head cold!

All our love..

Definitely, Maybe

Okay, so I am SURE you have all seen the previews for the movie Definitely, Maybe coming out on the big V-Day. It stars Abagail whats her name, the girl from Little Miss Sunshine. Well, I was checking my email, and there was a message from Badly Drawn Boy, my favoritest English singer. He sings a track on the soundtrack! Now I know it is going to be an excellent movie, and I cant wait to hear the song! So that is my exciting blurb for the moment.

Okay so heres the preview so you don't have to look for it. This is the UK trailer, so it may be a little different, but I love all things Brittish so I chose this one :)




As far as updates on me: Still sore, still waiting for our car to get fixed, it is looking like it may be done about mid-next week. Still no verdict as far as State Farm's "investigation" if you could call it that. Scarlett was up all night throwing up, so we are a bit tired at the Rawlins household. We send our love, and appreciate your comments.